It was a young man's 23rd birthday. Now, there is nothing particularly exciting about a 23rd birthday, meaning you can't celebrate your achievement of legality and the ability to watch rated-R movies without pulling a mission impossible to get into the theater like on your 18th (woohoo?); you can't be welcomed into the awaiting arms of alcoholism and create memories that were meant to be forgotten like on your 21st; and you don't earn lower rates on car insurance like your oh-so-exhilarating 25th (some of you may not even get that exciting birthday gift). Moral of this rambling? This certain young man was looking forward to birthday wishes and a dinner on his 23rd birthday, and that's about it.
Wedding plans, schoolwork, and endless piles of office work stood in this young man's way of celebrating his birthday to the utmost extreme. What was he to do? Well, his kind and caring and completely humble fiancee decided to present said young man with a small token of her love, a tiny surprise that would at least bring a smile to her hard-working man's face.
So, on the day before the young man's birthday, the fiancee got her creative juices flowing and tried to brainstorm a cheap yet thoughtful gift that would make his day a little sweeter. The lightbulb went on, and she stopped by Waffle House and bought his favorite pie. A Chocolate Cream Oreo Pie. She sneakily brought it home and organized the fridge so that the pie was completely undetectable. Her plan was to set up a birthday surprise the very next morning so that the young man would walk out to a scrumdidlyumcious surprise and a sweet birthday card sitting on the bar. (okay, it isn't the most expensive or imaginative present, but we are on a budget of both time and money, people!)
All went according to plan. At 6:30am on September 10th, the young man was completely surprised and happy about his birthday bar layout. And though try as she might to convince her young man that a Chocolate Cream Pie was an acceptable birthday breakfast, he insisted that he would enjoy said pie much more after a long day of school and work. Amateur.
Later that day, the young man and his fiancee sat on the couch discussing the days events and waiting for friends before they left for a celebratory dinner of sushi. The conversation was flowing smoothly when all of the sudden, the young man jumped off the couch in swift motion and let out an excited howl, "My pie!" As the fiancee recovered from her minor heart attack, she watched as the young man took exactly 3 bounds to make it to the fridge (for a normal human being the distance would have taken 7 bounds). Right after she heard the door open, the young man reach for the bag, and then...
Insert foul language here.
The fiancee ran into the kitchen to see what was the matter, only to view a heart-crushing scene of the helpless young man staring stricken at the horrendous sight before him: a Chocolate Cream Pie face down on the tile floor, whip cream smeared along a surface, a surface of which the fiancee could not recall had last been swept, much less cleaned. Oreo pieces had rolled under every appliance, and the tin lay bent and dented in the middle of the kitchen rug.
Before the fiancee said a word, she looked at the young man who pathetically looked back at her with what she sensed as complete and utter devastation. Then, in one quick movement the young man began shoveling handfuls of the pie into his mouth that had not, supposedly, touched the ground. This was an equally pathetic scene to witness. 10 minutes later, the mess was cleaned, the destroyed pie was in the trash, and the couple was reasoning that in a few days this scenario might be funny; however, at that moment, it certainly was not. Sushi and drinks seemed to lessen the impact of such a blow, but the young man was never able to taste his birthday pie (other than the handful of germ and dirt ridden dessert that he had managed to inhale before his sensible fiancee put her foot down.)
Moral of the story: the young man's birthday surprise may have been a little too much for him. Maybe for his next birthday, the fiancee (the future wife) should try something simple like a cupcake or a cookie, something that won't increase the young man's adrenaline and turn him into a raging, pie-craving hulk.
